I Can't Do It Alone

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone,… - Matthew 14:23 NRS

Again he went away for the second time and prayed, "My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done." Again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words. - Matthew 26: 42-44 NRS

Being an introvert has distinct advantages and clear disadvantages. Remember that introvert/extrovert speaks most specifically to how one is most naturally refreshed, renewed, and re-energized rather than whether one likes to be around people. Being an introvert, I have to confess that there are times when I'd rather carry out ministry tasks alone. I know I'm an introvert because of how I get renewal and because I know what happens when I have extended interaction with others - including family and friends. There are many extrovert type tasks I enjoy, but those tasks drain me and leave me in dire need of alone time. There are also times when my natural inclination is to do things alone, enabling me to complete my tasks with much less frustration and controversy than trying to work with others. It really isn't a matter of people disagreeing as it is a matter of the level of energy expended by virtue of interacting. I've often talked about how my family is accustomed to me coming home from Sunday worship and going down into the cave to re-energize. Of course, we do not have a cave, so I'm speaking figuratively rather than literally. The family is accustomed to me returning home, having some brief discussion about the worship experience, and then having me excuse myself to retreat into isolation.

The one major difficulty of being an introvert is that our Christian faith is communal and corporate, not individual and private. The Christian community is most effective when individuals engage in group activites like worship, service, mission activities, and (in some cases) bible study. Over the years, I've actually come to see corporate acts of faith as a means of grace. I've come to understand that there are appropriate times for withdrawal just as there are appropriate times for joining my resources and strength with the resources and strengths of the larger Christian community. I've come to accept the fact that powerful ministry is a we thing, not a me thing. I've come to understand that there will be moments when I retreat just as Jesus did, and after a time of retreat, I must return to continue the work of ministry. Ultimately, being in ministry with Christian brothers and sisters is a blessing, not a chore. With further reflection, I also conclude that extroverts may have an equal challenge. Maybe extroverts feel challenged with aspects of Christian discipleship that require quiet isolation, individual solitude, or individual spiritual development. Nevertheless, I thank God that the Christian way is a "we" thing, with all of us in it together.

You don't live in a world all alone. Your brothers are here too. - Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. - Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD), Discourses

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